Finding Faith and Spirituality under the Rainbow....

One of the hardest things I’ve found with the coming out process is the quickness with which most churches will turn on those members of their congregation. Its almost as if your decision to love has in some way morphed you into one of the monsters from Pokemon (which I personally find adorably cute beyond belief) and not the person you have been from the beginning. Even if you do not follow a particular religion, most of you have felt the sting of scriptures tossed at you in justification of your identification with who you really are. Now here is the tricky part, we often associate our “churches” condemnation with “God’s” condemnation. This is extremely evident in the “ex-gay” movement which tries to “fix” the gay out of you. You can’t fix what is not broken, and let me tell you- We are not broken. You can’t “fix” the God out of someone, and we should not go seeking places to fix us. I am not saying that all religions are bad, or that all christians hate us for being ourselves, and keep this in mind. I know a beautiful soul that is about as close to God as anyone I know. She is a Christian, and truly supports equality on all levels. Separation, anger, and hate will only keep us away from finding the God within each and every one of us. You do not have to believe in God to believe in yourself or in the power of change. This angry God that has been created in the image of hate and ignorance has cause so many young souls to cut their lives short simply because they have learned to fear him more than live the God they see in the mirror- and God doesn’t make mistakes. I can remember sitting with a pill bottle in one hand, and a knife in the other trying to decide which would be less painful, and all because I feared that God would hate me for choosing this path of damnation, the path of loving another man. I told myself I would sleep on it. As I sat there the next day I asked for some sort of sign, a message, a star falling from the sky–something. Then it hit me- Love really is the answer. I looked around me; The beauty in the sunrise, I thought back the the guy that was in my life, I remembered my mother holding me close before I left for the Navy, and it was all a feeling of love. And if this being we call God is love in its purest form, then this was God in every aspect of my life. The feeling I had felt the night before were so opposite this, and well– I guess my decision is obvious. I am not saying the road is going to be easy, and the search for our truth usually is not. There are so many roads to walk down, there are so many dreams that we still have to dream, and who know who has it right. Just keep walking, just keep loving, keep being you–and make no apologies. I’d much rather let the mountains be my steeples, the birds my choir, and the grass my pew– feeling the warmth of acceptance from the suns shining grace , and tucked into slumber by mother moon, surrounding myself with angels I meet that are just like me–and you.